my life in law enforcement

What is burnout?

2012-01-19T06:15:00.000-08:00

When you are constantly spinning your wheels doing something that you don't like and aren't good at as opposed to something you love and find pure delight in.

A new begining

2012-01-02T03:42:00.000-08:00

How faithful is our God?

Last year was difficult for many of us. I think a lot of people blamed the government and the economy. Mostly true. But if we are honest with ourselves and look deeply within ourselves, we are contributing factors as well. As a community, we are not connected. There are just as many Liquor Stores as there are Churches and today's youth have no idea what it means to worship.

Oftentimes, people think that the law doesn't apply to them and that is to include God's law. His book of truth and His guide to our every day living. Yes, it can be difficult to understand how something written over 2,000 years ago can apply to "us" today. But trust me, I have found it to work whole heartedly. It isn't easy, and you cannot do it alone. But if you get involved in your local Church, root yourself in His promises and truth and then apply that to your life, someone close to you will notice your change, your faith and your light. God is seeking obedience, not perfection.

It will become a domino effect. I've seen it happen in my life. I wasn't always saved, believe it or not, my son was saved first. He lived with his dad and that's a whole another topic. But after my Salvation, I prayed fervently for my daughter and a year later, she was saved.

My Lord and Savior can take me to Heaven whenever He so desires. My children's names have been added to the book of life and I can rest in peace.

Let's believe that this year, God's presence will show up in a mighty way. That fewer kids will be arrested and more parents, adults, teachers and the like will get involved to unite in love. In the end, love is the key.

Love for a great start in this year of new Grace.

Good morning God,

2011-09-27T02:51:00.000-07:00

Good morning God,

I need you today, just like yesterday. And Lord, if you grant me another tomorrow, I'm certain that I'll need you then. I love you and I pray that the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and Redeemer.

In Jesus precious name, this is my prayer. Amen

This is not what I had planned for my life...

2011-09-08T02:39:00.000-07:00

Only by His will, certainly not my own. The below photo sits on my desk and it was placed there a while ago by way of reading one of my favorite books. It's titled, Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnach. It is indeed a keeper. I've had it since 1996 and still keep it by my bedside, right next to my Bible.

One of her many interesting "post" talks about finding the little girl you used to trust. The one you believed in and the one who had dreams in her heart way before others came along and told her that it wouldn't be possible. Well that little girl had no dreams whatsoever to grow up and become a cop. (lol)

Actually, she just started dreaming a couple of years ago and wow; her dreams are finally coming to past. Who knew? If she thought that she'd reap these kind of results, she would have begun ages ago. But then again, it (the dreams) would have only flourished according to His will.

The other picture was taken when I was chosen to be Detective Sergeant of the Year in 2010. Once again, not my doing.

The MPDC Dispatch

2011-09-05T04:52:00.000-07:00

I am slowly turning my blogs into books via Google's assistance. It's pretty cool actually. I've done the Free Spirit Butterfly Blog and this one is next on my list. Therefore, I wanted to post the below article to have as a keepsake and add to my police scrapbook. Last year our Dispatch Column did a Special Mother's Day Tribute to the Women in Blue and I was blessed enough to be one of the chosen and to share my story. Here goes... warning, it's pretty lenghty.

Mother’s Day tribute to MPD Moms ~

What motivates you to be a police officer?
I am a Christian and the Lord is my
motivation. I was a lost soul and trying
to do everything my way. Specifically,
in the workplace, I had no idea what
delegation meant and assumed that I
could and would do it all. I’ve always
had multiple tasks assigned to me and
thought that it was “my” responsibility
to complete them. I did not know
that I could reach out for help. I never
reached out for help growing up and
that motto followed me into my adult
life.

Does being a mom make you a better officer?
More compassionate? Committed?
Being a mother makes me a great
law enforcement officer. I have so much
compassion for our youth. It literally
breaks my heart when I see the morning
juvenile reports with young faces of
those arrested the night before. I keep
asking myself, “Where are their parents.
Don’t they care?” But the compassionate
side of me knows that most of
them are from broken homes and most
likely a mother that has to work to provide
for her family. Some people think
that a Boys and Girls Club would solve
the problem. The problem lies in the
parents’ responsibility to get the child/
children involved in the church, which
will in turn, get them involved in their
community.

Describe one of your most challenging
situations on the job.
My most challenging tasks were
not as a street officer. It was within the
lines of management. I was tasked to
be the A/Lt. for the First District Investigative
Unit on January 11, 2009
and, boy, was I was mad. I had no desire
to do it and I literally had a tantrum.
I wanted to remain the Sergeant
— only be responsible for my duties
and did not want to answer directly to
the Command Staff. I had no choice
but to go to my Bible and ask God,
“Why me? You know I don’t like to be
in the spotlight. Please, ask someone
else.” With that being said, I decided
to journal about the experience and
document my good and bad days. After
the good days started to out-number
the bad ones, I stopped journaling
and started embracing the gift that
God had given me. The ability to do it
with his assurance that He would be
by me every step of the way. I am not a
public speaker and I have done at least
six PowerPoint presentations and the
words spoken were not my own. Not
that I wasn’t nervous each and every
time, but God will give you the confidence
you need if you would ask!

How does your occupation impact your
children’s lives?
I am so very fortunate in this aspect.
My kids have watched me work
hard all my life. They probably thought
that I was doing my very best to provide
for them. But in actuality, I was
trying to prove to myself that because
my father left me when I was two, that I
could make something of myself without
his presence. It wasn’t until I met
my birth father in 2003 that I realized
that I didn’t have to prove anything to
anyone, including myself. Knowing
that allowed me to stop working overtime
as much as I used to and to enjoy
being a mom to my kids. Before, I was
never really present. I was there but
I was irritable and tired all the time.
Then I became more available; much
more relaxed, which afforded me the
quality time to really listen when they
were talking and not think about the
next thing on my to-do list.

What aspect of your profession are your
kids most curious about? Would you encourage
them to follow in your footsteps
I can honestly say that my kids
have never had any specific curiosities
about my career. When I joined the
department, they were two and eight.
All they every wanted was my safe return
home at the end of each tour.
As far as following in my footsteps,
I would not encourage that. Being an
officer was my desire since my early
years and I think that they would have
chosen my same path by now. My desire
stemmed from watching my stepdad
come home in a police cruiser,
looking really sharp in his uniform. I
have always encouraged my children
to do whatever it was that their hearts
desired and to be the very best at that.
That is something that I wish my parents
would have told me growing up.
If they had, maybe I would have been
a reporter, interviewing members of
MPDC from the other side of the microphone.

What role does law enforcement play
in nurturing and building character in
young people?
I think today’s role in law enforcement
would best be served if we were
consistent in our actions and in our
duty to serve. I mean that in a professional
and positive way. Some of us
have truly lost the excitement and zest
that we possessed early on in our careers.
It may not be as much fun as you
grow older, but in my opinion, I think
that it is still rewarding.
I can honestly say that although
I am looking forward to my retirement,
I am still committed to coming
to work each and every day, completing
my assigned task, helping others
in any way that I can, and continuing
to pray that I can save at least one soul
from a life of violence. If I can assist in
finding justice for one victim during
his or her time of despair, then I can go
home at the end of that day, knowing
that I made a difference someone’s life.

What things do you do to be a role
model for your children/other young
people?
As a role model, I think that I have
been gifted with compassion and the
ability to listen. My sisters, MPD family,
and even strangers are compelled
to share very personal parts of their
lives and that makes me feel that they
can trust me. Oftentimes, I don’t know
what makes a person walk up to me
and share an intimate part of themselves,
but I can only assume that from
character, demeanor and spirit, they
see someone who is doing her very
best to live a life of authenticity and integrity.

No longer trapped...

2011-08-27T15:54:00.000-07:00

I have this sign on my desk that reads I'm a passionate writer stuck in a police officer's body. Well, I no longer feel trapped. By God's Amazing Grace, I finally published my first book. I love serving the citizens of Washington, D. C., and I also love writing. Mostly, I love helping in any way that I can. I pray all the time that the Lord will use me and that I'm not so wrapped up in my wants and desires that I miss His calling.

Not only has He called me to serve and protect but He has called me to show love and compassion and to provide resources to the Seniors and the Homeless. Please click on one of the below links to purchase a copy of my book and the proceeds will be donated to a great cause. Together, we can make a difference. Believe me, the royalties are very small but God will increase them according to His riches and Glory. This I know for sure.

www.xlibris.com/DeniseMFuller.html

www.xlibris.com/PoetryandProse.html

Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Sgt. Butterfly :-)

No longer a slave to unlimited overtime...

2011-07-24T03:05:00.000-07:00

Saturday's used to be my overtime day. I was so used to doing it that it was a part of me. A part of my life and seemed normal. I've been working at least 2 jobs for as long as I can remember and then when I joined the Police Department, I began to work overtime, all the time. I couldn't even begin to tell you how much time I spent away from my kids and family trying to provide a safety net and what I thought were the things they wanted and needed. That would take up way too much time and that's not my real purpose for this blog post. I'm writing to say that on Saturday, July 16, 2011, they had a Praise and Worship Service on the Beach and a tear came to my eye as I realized that had I still been a slave to overtime, I would have missed my blessing!

I will be gone for a while. I would like to get deeper into the word of God and see what else He has in store for me. Love and peace for a great summer and maybe I'll be back in the fall. With GOD anything is possible.

It's summer and the kids need something to do...

2011-07-12T04:06:00.000-07:00

Please help our youth throughout the community. Kids are out of school and have lots of free time on their hands. I don't know where to begin. You could say that it starts w/the parents and or they should have been raised in Church, etc...

I was not raised in Church and my dad worked a lot. My mother was a stay at home mom for a little while and for some reason I was always afraid of disappointing her or getting in trouble. I'd like to say that it's one of reasons why I joined law enforcement, but I think I joined because I was fixated on Charlie's Angels and Columbo (One of the best detectives ever)... speaking of, he recently passed away. May he rest in peace.

But in any event, please keep an eye on the youth in your neighborhood. Offer them small jobs here and there, recommend stuff for them to do or someone that may hire them. Report their activities even if you think it doesn't concern you.

Have a great summer and smile even if you don't feel like it!
Jesus is always near.

Sgt. FSB

Prayers for a great day

2011-06-15T03:24:00.000-07:00

Good morning everyone. Just wanted to take a moment to wish you a great day. Summer will be here soon. Although we've been having incredible whether so far, it's strange that it's not officially summer. On one hand I look forward to it and then again, on the other, I don't.
It gets really busy in the city. The kids and youth have no real plans or activities. The Boys and Girls Club are far and few between and a lot of the low income families barely have food on the table, let alone spending money for amusement parks and other social activities.
With that being said, can you please add that to your prayer list? Better yet, help one child this summer with a donation of some kind - a day at the park, a new summer outfit, a ticket to an outdoor activity, or just some change for the Ice cream truck. Watch their little faces light up. It will certainly spark a domino effect ;-)

Well, I got a little of track there. My intentions were to tell you to make it a great day! Love and prayers
Sgt. Butterfly

Just like yesterday...

2011-05-17T03:31:00.000-07:00

Good morning God,

It's me. Just wanted to check in with you and let you know how much I appreciate you. Just like yesterday, you stood by my side and walked with me. You talked with me and held my hand. You whispered sweet promises to me and assured me that the things of this world are forever fleeting and that your love is not only unconditional but eternal.

I am here at my desk again and longing to get through another day and another chance to honor and glorify your name. Still uncertain on why you have me here at this point in my life, but as always, trusting that your purpose will prove fruitful for your Kingdom and not my will.

Help me to stay focused and to be there when that someone needs me in a personal or professional manner. When that time comes, give me the words of wisdom and grace to let your light shine and speak with truth and love, compassion and understanding. All these things I pray in your heavenly name, Christ Jesus, amen!

love ~
your humble servant

National Day of Prayer

2011-05-05T02:49:00.000-07:00

GM blog family. The below msg is something I sent out to my staff this morning and wanted to share w/you. I'm here if you need me. However, I will not post my number for texting ;-)

Good morning staff,

Today is National Day of Prayer. I just wanted you to know that if there is something on your heart ~ mentally, physically, emotionally, financially or spiritually, that you are dealing with, I would like to pray for you. You can see me in private, text me, call me or e-mail me at prayer.request2010@yahoo.com

In this busy, crazy, consumed world, please know that you are not alone.
sent w/love

My Blue Mondays ~

2011-05-03T03:41:00.000-07:00

As the morning appears and unaware that darkness
Has faded the pace quickens and I am forced to keep up

I eagerly await the day when You relieve me of this
Current assignment, the one where I’m still longing

Longing to know Your purpose for me, one that
I can better serve You, one that will matter

Or is it as simple as it is written in Your word
That serving You IS what matters most

Not trying to make sense of it all but to embrace
And trust, believe and walk in Your truth

Surrender and obey to the call of Your voice
Not wanting to be anywhere but where I am

Not wanting to change the circumstances because
It doesn’t feel comfortable according to my standards

Knowing that Your ways are not my ways and Your
Thoughts are surely not my thoughts

Praying and serving IS my purpose, praising You
In all situations and learning to be still and grow

Like the mustard seed in Matthew, surely my Faith
Will carry me through until I reach Your Kingdom

At that Glorious moment, none of this stuff will
Have any significance and will merely be forgotten

Rejoicing in Your presence will make everything
That occurred prior to that day so worth the REWARD

fsb

I'm not just a cop...

2011-04-01T06:22:00.000-07:00

I am also a passionate Christian and a passionate writer. Please click on one or both of these links and visit me at Poetry and Prose and Free Spirit Butterfly when you have a moment or two. Be safe and remember to love your neighbor as much as you love yourself. I believe in you!

My prayer for today

2011-03-03T02:37:00.000-08:00

Good morning God,

I just wanted to take a moment to thank you. I'm getting ready to begin my work day and at the moment, it is peaceful. It may not be in other parts of the city, but for now the air is quiet and calm. Bless your children, bless our Nation, bless our Soldiers and Lord, most importantly, bless me. May I continue to shine "your light" in this dark world and in this dark profession.

Our society is so overwhelmed with crime and destruction that fear is a regular emotion. Lord help us to remember that we are not to fear man but You. Keep us reminded of your precepts and your promises. Remind us that if we call on you, pray to you and meditate on your word DAILY, that you will ease those fears and eventually they will no longer exist.

Lord, we know that the flesh is weak and the mind is a playing field for the devil, but show us your mercy and grace as you always have. Personally, I want to thank you for covering me, protecting me under your wings, watching over me as I sleep through the night and putting angels above my comings and goings. Guide me, strengthen me and place wisdom in my head, compassion in my heart and a desire to listen and obey your will. Lord may your will be done in accordance to your sacrifice so many years ago. One for which I am eternally grateful and can never, ever repay in this life or the next.

Use me today to save at least one soul. In your heavenly name this is my prayer. Christ Jesus, amen!

No fear of the Lord...

2011-02-05T08:07:00.000-08:00

I am 46 years old and there are two things that I fear, My Lord and Savior and my momma. I have the unfortunate pleasure of reviewing crime stats every 24 hours. It reveals to me the number of juveniles arrested daily and the type of crime committed. I tell you one thing, my mom and I live at least 35 to 4o minutes apart and if she were to call me and tell me, (not ask, but tell me) to bring her "something" I'd be a little irritated and may even pout, but guess what? "I do it." Not only because she's my mom but because the Bible tells us so in an indirect way.

Today's youth are in fear of nothing. Most have sex with whoever, whenever. Most skip school, have tried drugs, know where to get a gun, drive without permits, have stolen on more than one occasion and even fight with Law Enforcement Officers. I didn't even make mention of the Violent Offenses that I've encountered.

If I haven't learned anything in my life's journey, I know one thing to be true. My fear of the Lord sustains me and keeps me on the path to "being my best self." Being humble, kind, polite, compassionate, forgiving, respectful, gentle and obedient may not be easy in this world we live in but the rewards are priceless.

Proverbs 10:27 The fear of the Lord prolongs days, but the years of the wicked will be shortened.
Proverbs 13:24 He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly.
Proverbs 29:15 The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.

sent w/love
sgt. butterfly

New Years prayer

2010-12-26T16:17:00.000-08:00

Lord usually there's a news broadcast about the city's first homicide of the year. Please God, let there be a news broadcast about peace and forgiviness, not about death.

In your heavenly name I pray
Christ Jesus, amen!

November 18, 1990

2010-11-18T02:47:00.000-08:00

Haiku -

Twenty years ago today

I took an oath to

protect and serve!

Grateful heart

2010-11-01T10:16:00.000-07:00

As the unemployment rate continues to rise, I am more and more grateful for the overflow of work that awaits me in my in-box.

My prayers are truly with those who have lost their jobs. I continue to pray that those of us who continue with the 9 to 5, give thanks to the Lord even when we're feeling over worked and under appreciated.

If you find yourself in a "funk," which we all do at times; do something nice for someone else. It'll surely lift you up and out. You may very well start a trend. It used to be called a random act of kindness. Do people still do that?

It's all for the Glory of GOD. His rewards are eternal.

Love and continued peace
FSB

GOD answers prayers...

2010-10-11T07:38:00.000-07:00

I can surely testify to this. In HIS own time and in HIS own way, He hears your prayers and He answers them. I've been praying about a lot of things in the work place and He has revealed some truly amazing things to me.

There was a point in my past when I truly want to quit; totally give up and give in. He would not allow it. He had and still has a purpose for me in the work place and I'm trying daily to walk in His path and listen for His direction. It is not an easy assignment, but I have given Him my word that I would follow His lead. I am not perfect and I do not consider myself to be a person with all the answers, I'm just a believer in His word and trying my best to obey.

Life is very challenging and it can sometimes become overwhelming, "if" we allow SATAN to have control. I don't know about you, but SATAN is not the BOSS OF ME!

Love for a great day!
Sgt. Free Spirit Butterfly.

My motivation for working...

2010-09-15T05:35:00.000-07:00

Colossians 3:23-25

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward, it is the Lord Christ you are serving. Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for his wrong, and there is no favoritism.

Sometimes, in the midst of my busyness at work, I loose focus and this scripture brings me back to my true purpose each and every time.

Love for a great day!

A loving & unexpected message from my daughter to get me through my work day...

2010-08-25T06:05:00.000-07:00

I Love you mother, I prayed that your day is peaceful and joyful and that the lord gives you the will power and the strength you need to get through this work day. Remember Romans 8:30, And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. What, then, shall we say in response to this? IF GOD IS FOR US, WHO CAN BE AGAINST US?

Love T

Not an official K-9 Dog, but my sweet baby. Rest in peace my darling Max.

2010-08-14T09:55:00.001-07:00

Love and forgiveness go hand and hand...

2010-08-03T10:02:00.000-07:00

Hebrews 13:1-3

Keep on loving one another as brothers and sisters.

Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.

Continue to remember those in prison as if you were together with them in prison, and those who are mistreated as if you yourselves were suffering.

Be safe out there, it's been a rough summer here at MPDC.
Please keep praying for our public servants and our Nation.

An answered prayer...

2010-06-24T13:28:00.000-07:00

I have a prayer journal and when I fill it with prayer request, I like to write down the date that it was sent up to God and the date that he answered it. I can honestly say that he's been so busy answering them, that I'm actually behind in my record keeping.

That alone is blessing enough!

But, I have to take a moment to share this special prayer. As you know, Stacye at Standing Able is my prayer warrior at work but we don't work in the same office. I've been praying to God and also asking my Church family to pray as well that the Lord would send me someone a little closer; preferably in my immediate office so that I may share the Gospel. Someone that I can openly talk with about Christ and his goodness, glory and forgiveness!

Well that someone is here and she is open, honest and willing to listen and share with me. We can talk about Christ and his Amazing works and how he has plans to make it all work together for the good of those who love him. "Romans 8:28."

Thank you God.
Psalm 37:4
Take delight in the Lord
and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Love, peace and safety!
Sgt. Butterfly

Today's lost youth...

2010-05-15T04:22:00.000-07:00

A rebellious son - Deuteronomy 22:18-21

18)If someone has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother and will not listen to them when they discipline him, 19) his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him to the elders at the gate of his town. 20) They shall say to the elders, "This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is profligate and a drunkard." 21) Then all the men of his town are to stone him to death. You must purge the evil from among you. All Israel will hear of it and be afraid.

I know this seems a bit extreme today, but isn't there something we can do to get the youth on the right path of obedience?

A new beginning

2010-01-04T19:19:00.000-08:00

This year is going to be different for me. I have to admit that for the past year, I have been resentful and frustrated. My boss was transferred last January and I was MAD! I had the most time on as far as seniority, so that meant that I would have to be "the boss" until another one showed up. After being angry and having a tantrum, I decided to journal about the experience.

I knew that the Lord was preparing me for something, I just didn't know what. And frankly, I wasn't interested. But during my Christian walk, I've learned that it's not about me ;-)

As I look back in my journal, I laugh and smile. I was so afraid to take the lead not knowing that I was capable all along. You and I both know that He does not give us more than we can handle and we tend to forget that while we're going through "it".

Now almost a year later and still no BOSS, I have learned my strengths and my weaknesses. He has shown me that He is near and always has been. I am great at being punctual, organized and supportive. I use to suck at delegating and telling it like it is. But through this journey, I have learned to lean on my staff and find a nice way to get people to do what they're supposed to.

The most important lesson that I learned was to start each day with prayer. Before I put on my "cop face" I pray for this Nation, the Command Staff that I work with; and I say work with, because GOD is my real boss - and I pray for my team and the community in which we serve.

I've been doing this job long enough to know that we can't solve all the crime, but with teamwork and our faith in GOD, we can make a small difference.

Keep me in prayer as I continue to dedicate my life to protect and serve!
Love, peace and blessings
Sgt. Free Spirit Butterfly

I'm proud to have served.....

2009-11-23T10:40:00.000-08:00

On November 19, 2009, I celebrated 19 years on the police department. I have never had to use my firearm and it is my prayer that I can survive the next 6 years and successfully retire!

Last Post, for now anyway.....

2009-03-09T03:56:00.000-07:00

Good morning everyone and Happy Monday. I just finished getting the weekend crime ready for my Monday meeting. Initially I started this blog in hopes to look back on it from time to time to see if I could get some additional insight on how I came to be here at this point in my life. I joined the department when I was 26 years old. I sought advice from no one and I had no clue as to what would lie ahead of me. I jumped in with both feet and took with me my favorite episodes of Columbo (The best detective ever) and Charlie's Angels. I was Sabrina, not too pretty, but really "smart." (smile)

As the years past by, so did my life. And wow, what a transformation from the 26 year old girl I use to be to the forty something woman I am today. What I've come to realize is that the crime will always be there, the in-box will always be full, the sick days are far and few between, and your coworkers will either love you or hate you. Depending on if you're their "Supervisor" or not (lol)

As law enforcement officers, we need your help. Parenting, community outreach programs, Boys & Girls Club, Mentoring, Tutoring, Prayer meetings, police tips and anything else that would help make this city safer. And not just city, crime across America. Oftentimes, people are in their own little bubble and hoping that it doesn't affect them or assuming that it doesn't because they have never been victimized. Well, that's simply not true. Our President said it best, "We are all in this together, and together "YES WE CAN!"

With all that being said, I'm saying thanks for supporting this blog and you can find me under a tree somewhere out there with my journal writing poetry, prose and short stories!

Love, peace and blessings for a GREAT LIFE. "Don't watch it pass you by, participate in it!"

A bit of compassion, is it wrong?

2009-03-01T12:46:00.000-08:00

Today I had a difficult time focusing on my usual Sunday to do list. I usually have a rhythm that I stick to and it flows until I've realized that it's almost time to go and feel a bit relieved that I came very close to completing it. Sundays are the days where all the important people are off and I can catch up, review, update and look forward to Monday's rush.

But this morning I was watching an interview of a young man who had committed an armed robbery and it sadden me to hear his reasoning. He had what you would call a rough upbringing; no role models and a lack of parenting. At the age of 20 he is now a father himself and it appears that his child will experience some of what he went through as well.

I don't know what his sentencing will be, but am I wrong to feel some compassion for him? For his child whose father will have a criminal record? For our youth who are making decisions that are going to affect the rest of their lives? Although I never committed any criminal acts, I do have some regrets about the decisions I made at 20, and in my thirties for that matter.

I know it's a mixed emotion filled question.... If we give them another chance, the victim may not be so lucky as to survive and if we punish them on the first round, our society will be filled with young men who leave behind young children because they made a split decision without any regards for tomorrow's outcome.

I don't know, maybe I'm just feeling this way because I've never had a gun stuck in my face and a stranger demanding that I turn over everything I have. Please forgive me if you were a victim of a crime and you were tramatized as a result. I do know what side of the Law I serve, but being as though Christ forgave all of my sins; I think HIS forgiveness has spilled over into my professional life....

Morning Prayer

2009-02-23T02:46:00.000-08:00

I surrender to you my work.
May I be who you would have me to be,
that I might do as you would have me do.
May my relationships be blessed,
with those for who I work and
with those who work for me.
May your light be upon us
as we do our work, and
may our work be yours.

In Jesus name, Amen!

Love, peace and blessings for a great day!

Praise GOD, there were "NO" Homicides in the Nation's Capitol this weekend!

2009-02-17T04:37:00.000-08:00

Happy Tuesday

2009-02-10T03:26:00.000-08:00

Hallelujah, there are no meetings today and I can finally do some of "my work." I've been the acting boss now for about 4 weeks and I must say, after my power point presentation; the stress has disappeared. Not to say that it won't show up again, but when it does, I will remember to breathe and pace myself accordingly. I'm learning new things about myself and I just may be cut out for something bigger...

After my 8am conference call, I'm going to open up my bible and see what GOD has in store for this Glorious Day. I pray that you find some comfort in knowing that he has something special planned for you as well. FOR YOU and you alone!

Love, peace and blessings for a crime-less day!

Specifically asking for...

2009-02-06T16:42:00.000-08:00

Heavenly Father you want us to come to you with specific prayers. Matthew 7:7 In part, "Ask and it will be given to you..." I asked you two weeks ago for a transfer in assignment. You told me to wait and see. After having a moment (or a little longer) to vent about it, I gave thanks for where I currently am and what I currently have and continued to move forward. In addition, I said a prayer for the unknown person who will fill the position. I know that it's your will and not mine; so with that, I take comfort in knowing that you have plans for me and it's not going to happen until you give me the green light.

However; I heard a rumor that I just may be transferring. Again, I didn't get excited and I'm not packing one pencil until you bless me to move forward.

I am your servant and not that of the Police Department, so I patiently wait on your command.

The end result

2009-02-02T14:40:00.000-08:00

I was on a break from blogging in order to work on my power point presentation. I called it the Triple P because after all the stress and time I put in, I had to name it (lol)

Anyway, in the end what I learned was that in March, the Circus is coming to town along with the Harlem Globetrotters. So you may want to get your tickets early.

All appearances will be at the Verizon Center. Additionally, so is Disney on Ice, Fleetwood Mac and Britney Spears for those interested parties.

Enjoy.
Sergeant Butterfly

Less than a week to prepare

2009-01-25T04:00:00.000-08:00

I have never been a victim of a robbery
I have never been a victim of a burglary
I have never been a victim of rape
But I have been a victim of domestic violence...

This week I will be preparing to speak about crime in my district and ways to solve and reduce it. I can speak passionately about domestic violence; why she stays, why he controls and why the cycle continues. But I have no desire to explain why the crime continues to plague our city and what we can do about it. It has been and will be around as long as the sky is blue. Yes, there are preventive measures we can take, but Law Enforcement can not do it alone. We can temporarily blame the economy but over all it starts at home. Not all cases, but most. Your upbringing, your self esteem, respect for self and others, and your contributions to society will greatly effect the environment we live in. Personally speaking, if religion does not play a role in your life, then I don't know how Law Enforcement can eliminate all the bad guys.

The New Tenants have arrived. Welcome to the Nation's Capitol, President & Mrs. Obama

2009-01-20T18:43:00.000-08:00

I am honored to serve and protect him, his family and this Nation. I can't explain it, but I feel a new sense of pride about what I do for a living. I think I'm really sold on his philosophy; Together, yes we can!

A moment of prayer

2009-01-18T03:17:00.000-08:00

Heavenly father, a week ago you gave me a new assignment and I was upset about it. I actually had a tantrum and called everyone I could to ask, "why me?" You know my reasons were mostly fear and frustration about coming outside of my "comfort zone." After you allowed me to express my feelings, no matter how childish they were at the time; you then calmly explained to me that you have different plans for me. Not that there was anything wrong with my plans, but you asked me to just give it a try. What's the worst that can happen? You asked.

And God, as usual; you were right. This past week has been incredibly smooth sailing. My inner voice keeps saying, "it's only the calm before the storm." And you keep repeating, "you can do it my child, hold on to me and meditate on my word."

Psalm 27:1

The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear?

The Lord is the stronghold of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?

It's almost here

2009-01-14T17:32:00.000-08:00

After tomorrow, we will be working 12 hour shifts until the 22 of January. The department is really going all out. We have cots coming in so that members can spend the night and we have lunch wagons, hand warmers, heated socks, fur hats, bomb dogs, snipers, military armored cars, freshly pressed uniforms, outside agencies, out of town guest, sold out hotels, late night bars, standing room only, closed off bridges, celebrity parties, and tons of excitement in the air. But with all this preparation, have we prayed?

I am mentally exhausted already...

2009-01-11T05:33:00.000-08:00

Unlike most people, my week begins on Sundays. This is usually a great day for me because all of the important people are off and I can catch up on my work, listen to the gospel and have some peace through out the day. Not that criminals don't commit crimes on Sundays but oftentimes we get very few calls. As a matter of fact we just received a robbery call that turned out to be a simple assault. (For us cops, it's not as serious as it sounds) However, it's still a crime.

Anyway yesterday my boss called me at home, which is never a good sign. He wanted to inform me that he will be transferring and I will be in charge indefinitely. I have to admit as a new Christian, I was mad. I vented and complained, not to him of course but after I got off the phone. I called as many people as I could and went on and on and on.

Although my inner voice was telling me that God is using me for something bigger than myself, I tried to shut her up. It didn't work. She began to pray and relax and even laughed about it. I must say that having faith in the Lord and having my armor (the gospel) at my reach has made my life so much different than it was a year ago. This job is stressful, unpredictable and thankless but as long as I remember who my real boss is, my inner self is a lot more forgiving to my outer self when she goes off on one of her tantrums.

Grateful

2009-01-06T22:41:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone, I'm back at the J O B! I'm blessed and I'm going to have a great outlook for the coming year (well, I'm going to give it my best shot) Praise GOD, five more years and I will be a civilian like most of you! The job won't dictate my personal life "yippee!" I will finally get 8 hours of sleep and walk the malls and eat out and go to amusement parks and just be normal.... wait a minute, what's normal? (smile)

I was so looking forward to my winter vacation and somehow hurt my sciatic nerve. WOW, I spent 10 days on my sofa with 3 different medications. That was not fun and one thing I learned from that experience is that it's no fun being single and sick. The next time, God forbid there is one, I'm going to hire me a male nurse (lol)

As always, please pray for me and my brothers and sisters in blue across the country and especially during the coming weeks as we prepare for the big day, the swearing in of our New President in the Nation's Capitol!

Love and Peace

Changing my plans for God's....

2008-12-14T03:37:00.000-08:00

Anyone who knows me knows that I'd rather be writing than doing anything else.... as far as my profession is concerned. However, the Lord has plans for me that I know nothing about.

My prayer - God, shake the foundations of self-absorbed plans. Reveal to me the purpose you have for me, my time, my money, my work, my family, my day!

Expect the unexpected...

2008-12-07T04:03:00.000-08:00

I'm getting ready to serve a search warrant in about an hours. It always gets my heart racing. I'll never forget the movie, the title presently escapes me; but it starred Christopher Reeves. He was a law enforcement officer executing a search warrant and when his partner cleared the room, he failed to check a huge stack of laundry in the corner. When Christopher came in behind him, the bad guy jumped up and shot him. Although Christopher was injured, he pretended to be paralyzed.... Anyway, remember how later in real life he had a freak accident and fell off his horse?

I say all that to say that life is strange and unexpected. I hate search warrants and traffic stops. Those are the top two assignments when a police officer is really at risk. Aside from the really rare instances when a crazy person has a grudge and decides on killing the first cop he sees.

But this is the life I signed up for 18 years ago and so far GOD has kept me in his protective arms. And today, I trust that he will continue to. Have a great day and always be mindful of your surroundings!

This too shall pass, I hope

2008-12-01T14:23:00.000-08:00

The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

This is the time of year when crime increases. Please be careful and pray for the innocent victims.

Discipline your children

2008-11-23T04:46:00.000-08:00

Proverbs 23:13 & 14
Do not withold discipline from a child;
if you punish him with the rod, he will not die.
Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death.

Today I celebrate 18 years in my career

2008-11-18T14:53:00.000-08:00

A lot of my brothers & sisters have lost their lives in the line of duty and somehow God has spared mine for reasons unknown to me.....

Psalm 23
A psalm of David.
1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil,
for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Good news, I think....

2008-11-14T13:07:00.000-08:00

District of Columbia City Council has finally approved our "20" year retirement plan. That's good news for me, I think. In two years I can leave this career and do something I love! What, I don't know.

Oh, I forgot about my mortgage payments and the fact that I owe more than my home is worth. Also the fact that I haven't really planned for retirement because I was busy trying to "live" and my 401-K is laughing hysterically. And lastly, my savings account is just enough to cover me for a rainy day..... and according to statistics, it's scheduled to rain in April if not sooner (smile)

Well my dad says that once you hit the 2o year mark, you have a different attitude and it's all a peice of cake after that. So I guess knowing that I can leave in two years as oppose to seven should be enough to inspire me to save more and start dreaming about who I want to be when I grow up!

Thank you Heavenly Father

2008-11-11T04:00:00.000-08:00

I'm grateful for this morning. I'm not going to lie, there are most days when I wish I didn't work here and I know in my heart that this is not my "true calling" but my heart truly goes out to those who've lost their jobs over the past ten months. CNN has reported over one million Americans who are out of work due to the "economic loss by the current administration".

It's Veteran's Day and most Americans are off today where as I'm in a position to make overtime. This is considered Holiday pay for me and I thank God for that but in all honesty, I'd rather thank a Veteran in person for fighting for our Country and my freedom as oppose to being here reviewing "crime reports'.

Are the Judges in our justice system reading the bible?

2008-11-07T07:12:00.000-08:00

Ecclesiastes 8:11

When the "sentence" for a crime is not
"quickly" carried out, the hearts of
the people are filled with schemes
to do wrong!

I can't tell you how many times we've arrested
someone for a felony and by that evening or
the following morning, they're back on the street...

I know the punishment won't be as swift as we'd
like, but the repeat offenders are just that because
of the lack of punishment being handed down by
our justice system. Yes the jails are full but is that
a justifiable excuse?

Is it wrong to give the maximum penalty for the
first time offender?

The oath I took almost 18 years ago

2008-11-05T05:24:00.000-08:00

As a law enforcement officer, we are not to look at the Presidential Inauguration ceremony. Our responsibility is to watch the crowd with our backs to the parade. We are to keep watch for any possible threats, danger or acts of violence that may pose a threat to the President. On this historic day as an African American, how do I not take my eye off of the assigned task and not look at the 44th President and the first African American of our Nation's Capitol?

It will be difficult and emotional for me. After all, it's only been (40) years in the making!

No words, just feelings

2008-10-30T10:29:00.000-07:00

each time i think about my job/career i still wonder what lead me hear. i keep trying to convince myself that this is where god wants me. however, the crime, the violence, the bloodshed and the dead bodies are just too much for me. why are they killing one another over senseless acts? why are innocent people being caught in the middle? why are our youth dying one after the other? why is the legal system giving away 2nd and 3rd chances? why am i afraid of our young black males? why does it all make me sad? why do i even care?

again, no words just feelings....
in Jesus name, AMEN!

At a lost for words...

2008-10-26T04:01:00.000-07:00

No crime statistics for the week

2008-10-20T03:38:00.001-07:00

I'm in training all week. Oftentimes I look forward to times like this; no crime meetings, no conference calls, no complaints to handle, no police sirens, no sounds of gunshots, no bloody scenes, no trying to get to the truth and no tears of compassion. However, there will be tons of e-mails to review upon my return ;-(

Have a safe week and may God bless the Nation's Capitol!

Who is responsible?

2008-10-16T03:26:00.000-07:00

There are currently about seventy million Americans under the age of 18, or a quarter of the total US population. Juvenile crime statistics report that 2.3 million juveniles were arrested in 2002. This accounts for 17 percent of all arrests and 15 to 25 percent of all violent crimes. According to juvenile crime statistics, murder accounted for five percent of violent crimes committed by juveniles, 12 percent for rape, 14 percent for robbery, and 12 percent for aggravated assault. According to juvenile crime statistics, one million juvenile crime cases are processed through the juvenile court system each year and 200,000 are processed through the adult legal system.

Do you hate your job?

2008-10-12T06:29:00.000-07:00

I use to way before this "economic crisis", but I prayed about it last year and now God has given me a new "perspective".

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, for the month of September 159,000 people lost their jobs. That brings the total of unemployed Americans to a whopping 760,000 for the year of 2008. So if you still "hate" your job, step aside and let someone else have it.

I don't know about you, but I'm going to get back to work...

Local hero...

2008-10-09T17:31:00.000-07:00

A young woman was stabbed earlier this week in Southeast, Washington. According to the media, she had only lived in the home for about three weeks. I remember hearing the news the next afternoon from my boss and my cheerful attitude and infectious smile turned to disbelief. He said she was stabbed about 17 times. I could not close my mouth in "awe". As I type this, I'm wondering how something like this can still shock me. Just hours before her violent attack, I was monitoring the radio when a series of robberies took place. Of the three that occurred on my watch, one of the victims was immediately transported to the hospital with little chance for survival.

Lord, I know you have a plan for me otherwise I wouldn't be coming up on my 18 year in November, but how does your plan fit into this violent, senseless and increasingly cold blooded society that I'm in the middle of? The weird thing about my job is the fact that for every crime committed, there is at least one tourist in the heart of downtown DC w/a smile and camera posing in front of one of our many historical landmarks.

People really do love this city. And to top it off, the stabbing victim is reported to have said, "she's not leaving DC, she loves it here." She's my hero because I haven't even come close to anything similar to her ordeal and I can't leave fast enough when my shift is over.

PS. my prayers are with you and your family as you recover and "try" to move forward with your life. You are in deed my hero! Peace and blessings.

You've got mail....

2008-10-06T14:08:00.000-07:00

I have to admit e-mails are my life line, especially considering the fact that I don't like to talk on the telephone. Don't know where I get that from, that's another story; I guess...

I was in training last week and arrived to work this afternoon to (190) e-mails. Come on, am I really that "important" or is crime really that "serious"? Probably both considering my line of work. I swear sometimes you can't tell me I'm not a freelance writer and just pretending to be a detective sergeant for the Nations' Capitol.

When I think about that catch phrase, "you've got mail", it does excite me in my personal accounts. It may be a bit overboard but I have (4) e-mail accounts. I have one for my greeting cards, one for my friends & family, one for my on-line bill payments and last but not least the infamous work account. That's the one were the having to empty the in-box is not an option because failure to do so will could result in serious repercussions. Did you get the e-mail? Have you checked your e-mail? Why didn't your reply to my e-mail? And the one that I like to use; I never received your e-mail (although the department has a tracking system and that excuse hardly ever flys).

Richard Carlson, author of "Don't sweat the small stuff" may he rest in peace, said, "When you die, your in-box won't be empty." Your in-box and in-basket is supposed to have "stuff" in it. He goes on to say that in reality, almost everything can wait. Very little in our lives truly falls into the "emergency" category. I just wish someone would tell the police department. But then again, in my line of work nothing can wait.

Haiku #4

2008-09-30T12:57:00.001-07:00

he said he loved me
with every strike of his hand
he really loved me.

in my teen years my boyfriend "beat" me because
he watched his dad "beat" his mother.....

break the cycle of domestic violence
1.800.258.8840

Job security...

2008-09-27T18:12:00.001-07:00

I'm a compassionate person, that's how God made me. So it saddens me to hear on CCN that at least 84-85,000 people lost their jobs in August. I heard it before, but it really went over my head until last night. While waiting anxiously for the debate, I was giving the TV my undivided attention. My heart goes out to the individuals and their families.... I immediately thought, I've really got to cut back. In my head I started thinking (pb&j, tuna sandwiches, cereal (no problem, I'm the queen of cereal) and other inexpensive meals I would start preparing to save $$$$.

Then that little voice in my head reminded me of what I do for a living. (Sometimes I swear I'm a writer and just play a police officer on TV). Anyway, the voice was saying as long as there are Sexual Predators, Burglaries, Carjacking, Shootings, Violent Assaults, Homicides, Traffic fatalities, Bank Robberies and other senseless crimes against our society, getting laid off is the least of my worries. If anything, my cash flow will increase because the average citizen is in a financial crisis and sooner or later, they may resort to drastic measures. Which will lead to overtime for Law Enforcement, which leads to indefinite job security for me and I don't know if that's a good thing or not...

My weapon of choice

2008-09-25T04:49:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had to go to the firing range to re-qualify with my Glock 19. Wow, even writing this takes me back a bit. I actually own one of those.... at least until I retire. It's been attached to my right hip for almost 18 years and it still amazes me what power comes with it. To actually take a life of another is something I can't even fathom.

As I began to take my stance, I have on my ear and eye protection and I'm in place 25 feet away from what is supposed to be my suspect, ready to aim and fire. There are men and women to the left and right of me and I often wonder what are they thinking as they stand there. Believe it or not, I was thinking about my hair appointment later that day, hoping to catch a matinee at 4:30 and whether or not I was going to eat the leftovers or treat myself to some real food.

Then the lights go out, the instruction begins and without hesitation, I reach for my Glock. I use my left hand to support my grip and I close my left eye and line up my front sights. I look ahead 25 feet and try to hit the center mass of the target. As the round discharges from the barrel and the muzzle flashes with a quick yellow and gold side effect it becomes all to clear to me that one day that paper target just might become a real person and I will have to make a split second decision (to shoot or not to shoot).

Call me niave, but I say all that to say that my weapon of choice is my smile. I think if we smile more and look people in the eye when we do it, it throws them off and oftentimes can cause an epidemic. Try it today, look at a complete stranger and smile your best smile!

Haiku #3

2008-09-21T06:13:00.000-07:00

A split decision
If only she had said "yes"
Maximum time, LIFE!

No means no!
DC Rape crisis center 202.333.RAPE (7273)

A soul saved.... or not

2008-09-19T02:43:00.000-07:00

Yesterday about 11:50 am or so and I was so focused on my project. I was so full of energy that morning and then the Lt. burst my bubble with (did you see the e-mail?) No I didn't and I didn't want to see it... every other one is about a meeting, deadline or something similar. So he took the liberty of telling me about the 3pm meeting on "my Friday". What could I say, he's the boss and yes, he's BACK! So I'm back to being the detective sergeant "yipee" only 6 more years (lol).

I'm sorry back to my original post. An officer came in and I had on my serious face and I'm not in the mood could you pls ask someone else face. He smiled, I couldn't resist; he had the most gorgeous teeth... he asked for today's lottery number and a prayer. I was so stunned. I gave him my old badge # and reached for my bible and read a devotional relating to work. He was so truly pleased and moments later, he came back with a juvenile male. This young child was 17 and did not believe in GOD. The officer told me that he was wanted and his mother made him turned himself in. Additionally, he wanted me to speak "something spiritual" to him. Me, wow... I took a deep breath and the words had to have come from the holy spirit because believe it or not, I really am shy. I gave my testimony as briefly as I could and (2 make a long story short) he said that when he was about 7 he started asking God for stuff and he never got it. He didn't want to go into detail, so I didn't pry. He said he gave up when he was about 12 or 13. After sharing my past and my pain (the short version) he actually said, "you look happy." How very observant of him. Anyway, by the end of the conversation, he stood up and hugged me and he apologized that we had to meet under these circumstances.... when he did that, I knew there was hope (at least something inside of me felt it.) I will be checking on him in the near future but was that incredible or what?

Haiku #2

2008-09-18T04:55:00.000-07:00

Work was all I knew
Now my passion takes over
I'm calling in sick!

Haiku #1

2008-09-17T03:42:00.000-07:00

Being a cop sucks
Aside from the donuts it's
not like on TV

Robberies and Burglaries....

2008-09-14T07:44:00.000-07:00

I'm going over the 30 day crime for robberies and burglaries. I'd much rather be walking Max and watching a Law and Order marathon but such as life. Anyway, as I read these crime statistics I'm thinking how sad that there doesn't seem to be a means to an end. Can anyone stop the "freaking violence?" The phrase sure as hell sounds good in a song and even looks good on a T-shirt but realistically, what is the solution and who's responsible?

The POLICE need your help. We are constantly being accused of not doing enough and honestly, what more can we do? Yes, you have a right to walk around with your IPOD on listening to your favorite song, walk down the street with your purse on your shoulder, drive up to an ATM machine at night, leave your front door unlocked, leave your bay window exposed with all your valuables on display and you even have a right to walk around in the privacy of your own home in your birthday suit. The only thing is that in today's society, I wouldn't advise it. A predator doesn't sleep; he is always on the prowl looking for a vulnerable victim and eagerly awaiting the opportunity to make his move.

You and I live in America, where people are literally dying to get here and once they arrive, how do we welcome them? We provide crime brochures on how to prevent yourself from being the next crime victim. On the other hand, we can also provide you with a tour map of the Nation's Capitol and all the unique landmarks that makes this city one of the hottest tourist spots in the country.

A moment of silence...

2008-09-09T08:41:00.000-07:00

Wait a minute, this is too weird. I'm at work on a Tuesday morning and it is quiet and calm. Not to mention there's no one in the office. No detectives, no supervisors, no request, no demands, no telephones ringing and more importantly no meetings (yippee) There was a conference call earlier but that was a piece of cake.

I do have tons of work to do but the view from my window has me wishing I was home in my pjs. It looks as if it's going to storm any minute and you know what that kind of rain does to your mental state... L A Z Y in a good way and justified way (lol) But since I'm at work and I'm still the boss for a little while longer, I've got to focus on my to do list because I have a dentist appointment in the morning so I won't be here. (another yippee) Wait a minute, I just realized why it's so unusually quiet, my radio is missing. Not AM/FM, the $2500.00 Police Radio, so I've gotta go find it before all that overtime money goes into replacing it along with a suspension. I want some time off and lord knows I need it, but not via disciplinary action. Have a great day til next time! And Lord you know my prayer, keep my brothers and sisters safe!

A prayer for my son; and yours....

2008-09-07T10:23:00.000-07:00

Every night I pray to GOD that there are no homicides for at least the next 24 hours (because I know that saying forever would be just too much to ask for). And as confident as I am that GOD answers prayers, he is not the one "pulling the trigger". Our brothers are killing one another and I feel compelled to prayer for my son and yours daily because statistics on the innocent bystanders are not too far behind from the actual targeted victims. Murder was only a word I that heard on TV when I was a young girl addicted to "Columbo", the best Detective ever! My fascination with Peter Falk and Charlie's Angel's is the main reason I'm sitting here today. I use to be a secretary for the Department of Navy in my safe little cubicle with my liberal leave options and weekends off.

Now I sit in a space where crime reports could cover the walls, the floor and beyond. Each day that I look in the mirror that I have on my desk and I ask myself, "girl, how did you end up here?" She looks back and says, "it's what you were born to do"; writing is just your outlet to balance the stress and depression of it all. I actually had dreams of being a journalist and then I got pregnant. I decided that school would have to wait because the baby needed pampers, milk, clothes, daycare, etc.... you know the drill. Anyway, my life got sidetracked and here I sit blogging about my career; the one that pays the mortgage. At least I've made peace with the fact that although I may not be able to change the department's moral, I can still help one person at a time, one day at a time. PS I haven't given up on my dream. Someday I will pubish "something!" lol

It's Friday (again)...

2008-08-27T03:20:00.001-07:00

Good morning everyone. Those of you who are up anyway. It's 0620 hours, on Wednesday and for me it's Friday. I'm off for the next three days and I can hardly contain myself. (My dad's coming to town) so bring it on, I'm ready for this day and all it's drama! I love Fridays because no matter what happens on days like this, I don't have to be the "police" tomorrow. I can be a regular civilian and pretend to have a normal life... if there is a such thing.

Although I still watch my back, people walking past me, look over my shoulders when I get gas, use the ATM and while in the grocery store. I also make sure that my doors are locked when I approached the intersections and there are young men trying to sell something or clean my windshields. It's sad to say that I use to be offended when the (white race) would be fearful of our young brothers in certain situations (metro, elevators, sidewalks, etc..) now I feel the same way at times. I guess it's my past 18 years in law enforcement and the number of young black males committing senseless crimes and carrying handguns. Their regard for your life has little meaning to them. Not to mention the fact that the justice system oftentimes is not as sensitive to the impact that these crimes have on society's sense of safety and the trust that we have placed in "them" to protect you and "me".

It's fun being the boss (sometimes)

2008-08-17T10:15:00.000-07:00

My boss is out for a couple of weeks and I'm the big boss (of the office anyway). I miss being the little boss because I don't have to attend as many meetings. I am really behind on my work and you can stay all day and night if you'd like. As long as you get the job done! (Law enforcement is not for the weak at heart). I think if I didn't have to go home to Max, I'd probably work 16-18 hours per day. For now, you can either submit a slip for overtime or compensatory time and I'm single and healthy, so why not? One thing for sure, when my prince charming comes along, knight in shinning armor or "soul mate", it will be 8 straight hours and then I'm outta here! It's Sunday and I love Sundays. All the important people are off and I get to watch my spiritual speakers on Direct TV while I review the weekend crime reports. I usually visit my two senior friends but I've been so busy lately, that we've been communicating by phone. One I met as a result of a drug complaint about 12 years ago and the other was a victim of a violent assault about 5 years ago. I consider them both my grandmothers and they are always checking up on me. Imagine that ;-)

My other job

2008-08-09T15:51:00.000-07:00

It's Saturday and I worked overtime today. Believe it or not I love it. Not just the extra money, but I'm actually forced to sit still for at least 6 hours and be with my thoughts and my bible.

I didn't get a chance to write yesterday. It's been a really long time since I've actually worked on a real Friday. Usaully, Thursdays are Fridays for me. (That's police talk) Anyway, it started with the usual 24 hour crime reports, conference calls and a meeting at headquarters. I was as prepared as I could be considering I found out about the meeting on Wednesday and I was off on Thursday. As frustrated as I am about my job at times, I know that in my heart, I will always care. I care about my coworkers, I care about being fair and most importantly, I care about the victims.

A day off...

2008-08-07T09:23:00.000-07:00

It's weird, I took this day off to take Max to the vet. While I'm waiting to pick him up I thought I would clean the house. But after vacuuming, which is pretty exhausting when you're chasing dog hair from room to room, I found myself checking my departmental e-mail. It use to really stress me out and to some degree piss me off that you could come back from a day off and have about 70 of them. Of that amount about 5 are important. But that's just my opinion.

So my solution was to ease the stress and check them from home, that way when I got in there would only be about 25 new ones ;-) If I was lucky. I tell you, once you become involved in law enforcement, it becomes embedded in your brain. Crime, meetings, deadlines and memos constantly invade my cells trying to take me away from what I truly love. It's challenging but nothing I can't put up with for another 6 years or so, right GOD?

It's Wednesday and I'm tired...

2008-08-06T04:33:00.000-07:00

Today is going to be a long one. I know that "this too shall pass", but right now I really need a boost. I've already had my "on the way to work" cup of Dunkin Donut's coffee. I don't know about you, but coffee doesn't keep me energized or give me a pick me up. I guess like anything else, after a while you become immune to it.

I'm scheduled for a very long crime briefing today and I know there will be tons of questions, comments and dialogue over stuff that at the end of the day, won't change the fact that tomorrow we have to do it all over again. Is is me or does it seem simpler on Law and Order? Wish me luck! But then again, who needs luck when God is in your corner? Change that, to BRING IT ON, I'M READY!

2008-08-05T08:36:00.000-07:00

This is a journal about my life as a police officer. Although this was not the career I dreamt of, it's too late to turn back now. So with less than seven years to retire, I've convinced myself that I can still make a difference. Please pray for me and my fellow sisters and brothers in BLUE.