I'm proud to have served.....

On November 19, 2009, I celebrated 19 years on the police department. I have never had to use my firearm and it is my prayer that I can survive the next 6 years and successfully retire!

Last Post, for now anyway.....

Good morning everyone and Happy Monday. I just finished getting the weekend crime ready for my Monday meeting. Initially I started this blog in hopes to look back on it from time to time to see if I could get some additional insight on how I came to be here at this point in my life. I joined the department when I was 26 years old. I sought advice from no one and I had no clue as to what would lie ahead of me. I jumped in with both feet and took with me my favorite episodes of Columbo (The best detective ever) and Charlie's Angels. I was Sabrina, not too pretty, but really "smart." (smile)

As the years past by, so did my life. And wow, what a transformation from the 26 year old girl I use to be to the forty something woman I am today. What I've come to realize is that the crime will always be there, the in-box will always be full, the sick days are far and few between, and your coworkers will either love you or hate you. Depending on if you're their "Supervisor" or not (lol)

As law enforcement officers, we need your help. Parenting, community outreach programs, Boys & Girls Club, Mentoring, Tutoring, Prayer meetings, police tips and anything else that would help make this city safer. And not just city, crime across America. Oftentimes, people are in their own little bubble and hoping that it doesn't affect them or assuming that it doesn't because they have never been victimized. Well, that's simply not true. Our President said it best, "We are all in this together, and together "YES WE CAN!"

With all that being said, I'm saying thanks for supporting this blog and you can find me under a tree somewhere out there with my journal writing poetry, prose and short stories!

Love, peace and blessings for a GREAT LIFE. "Don't watch it pass you by, participate in it!"

A bit of compassion, is it wrong?

Today I had a difficult time focusing on my usual Sunday to do list. I usually have a rhythm that I stick to and it flows until I've realized that it's almost time to go and feel a bit relieved that I came very close to completing it. Sundays are the days where all the important people are off and I can catch up, review, update and look forward to Monday's rush.

But this morning I was watching an interview of a young man who had committed an armed robbery and it sadden me to hear his reasoning. He had what you would call a rough upbringing; no role models and a lack of parenting. At the age of 20 he is now a father himself and it appears that his child will experience some of what he went through as well.

I don't know what his sentencing will be, but am I wrong to feel some compassion for him? For his child whose father will have a criminal record? For our youth who are making decisions that are going to affect the rest of their lives? Although I never committed any criminal acts, I do have some regrets about the decisions I made at 20, and in my thirties for that matter.

I know it's a mixed emotion filled question.... If we give them another chance, the victim may not be so lucky as to survive and if we punish them on the first round, our society will be filled with young men who leave behind young children because they made a split decision without any regards for tomorrow's outcome.

I don't know, maybe I'm just feeling this way because I've never had a gun stuck in my face and a stranger demanding that I turn over everything I have. Please forgive me if you were a victim of a crime and you were tramatized as a result. I do know what side of the Law I serve, but being as though Christ forgave all of my sins; I think HIS forgiveness has spilled over into my professional life....

Morning Prayer

I surrender to you my work.
May I be who you would have me to be,
that I might do as you would have me do.
May my relationships be blessed,
with those for who I work and
with those who work for me.
May your light be upon us
as we do our work, and
may our work be yours.

In Jesus name, Amen!

Love, peace and blessings for a great day!

Praise GOD, there were "NO" Homicides in the Nation's Capitol this weekend!

Happy Tuesday

Hallelujah, there are no meetings today and I can finally do some of "my work." I've been the acting boss now for about 4 weeks and I must say, after my power point presentation; the stress has disappeared. Not to say that it won't show up again, but when it does, I will remember to breathe and pace myself accordingly. I'm learning new things about myself and I just may be cut out for something bigger...

After my 8am conference call, I'm going to open up my bible and see what GOD has in store for this Glorious Day. I pray that you find some comfort in knowing that he has something special planned for you as well. FOR YOU and you alone!

Love, peace and blessings for a crime-less day!

Specifically asking for...

Heavenly Father you want us to come to you with specific prayers. Matthew 7:7 In part, "Ask and it will be given to you..." I asked you two weeks ago for a transfer in assignment. You told me to wait and see. After having a moment (or a little longer) to vent about it, I gave thanks for where I currently am and what I currently have and continued to move forward. In addition, I said a prayer for the unknown person who will fill the position. I know that it's your will and not mine; so with that, I take comfort in knowing that you have plans for me and it's not going to happen until you give me the green light.

However; I heard a rumor that I just may be transferring. Again, I didn't get excited and I'm not packing one pencil until you bless me to move forward.

I am your servant and not that of the Police Department, so I patiently wait on your command.

The end result

I was on a break from blogging in order to work on my power point presentation. I called it the Triple P because after all the stress and time I put in, I had to name it (lol)

Anyway, in the end what I learned was that in March, the Circus is coming to town along with the Harlem Globetrotters. So you may want to get your tickets early.

All appearances will be at the Verizon Center. Additionally, so is Disney on Ice, Fleetwood Mac and Britney Spears for those interested parties.

Enjoy.
Sergeant Butterfly

Less than a week to prepare

I have never been a victim of a robbery
I have never been a victim of a burglary
I have never been a victim of rape
But I have been a victim of domestic violence...

This week I will be preparing to speak about crime in my district and ways to solve and reduce it. I can speak passionately about domestic violence; why she stays, why he controls and why the cycle continues. But I have no desire to explain why the crime continues to plague our city and what we can do about it. It has been and will be around as long as the sky is blue. Yes, there are preventive measures we can take, but Law Enforcement can not do it alone. We can temporarily blame the economy but over all it starts at home. Not all cases, but most. Your upbringing, your self esteem, respect for self and others, and your contributions to society will greatly effect the environment we live in. Personally speaking, if religion does not play a role in your life, then I don't know how Law Enforcement can eliminate all the bad guys.

The New Tenants have arrived. Welcome to the Nation's Capitol, President & Mrs. Obama

I am honored to serve and protect him, his family and this Nation. I can't explain it, but I feel a new sense of pride about what I do for a living. I think I'm really sold on his philosophy; Together, yes we can!

A moment of prayer

Heavenly father, a week ago you gave me a new assignment and I was upset about it. I actually had a tantrum and called everyone I could to ask, "why me?" You know my reasons were mostly fear and frustration about coming outside of my "comfort zone." After you allowed me to express my feelings, no matter how childish they were at the time; you then calmly explained to me that you have different plans for me. Not that there was anything wrong with my plans, but you asked me to just give it a try. What's the worst that can happen? You asked.

And God, as usual; you were right. This past week has been incredibly smooth sailing. My inner voice keeps saying, "it's only the calm before the storm." And you keep repeating, "you can do it my child, hold on to me and meditate on my word."

Psalm 27:1

The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear?

The Lord is the stronghold of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?

It's almost here

After tomorrow, we will be working 12 hour shifts until the 22 of January. The department is really going all out. We have cots coming in so that members can spend the night and we have lunch wagons, hand warmers, heated socks, fur hats, bomb dogs, snipers, military armored cars, freshly pressed uniforms, outside agencies, out of town guest, sold out hotels, late night bars, standing room only, closed off bridges, celebrity parties, and tons of excitement in the air. But with all this preparation, have we prayed?

I am mentally exhausted already...

Unlike most people, my week begins on Sundays. This is usually a great day for me because all of the important people are off and I can catch up on my work, listen to the gospel and have some peace through out the day. Not that criminals don't commit crimes on Sundays but oftentimes we get very few calls. As a matter of fact we just received a robbery call that turned out to be a simple assault. (For us cops, it's not as serious as it sounds) However, it's still a crime.

Anyway yesterday my boss called me at home, which is never a good sign. He wanted to inform me that he will be transferring and I will be in charge indefinitely. I have to admit as a new Christian, I was mad. I vented and complained, not to him of course but after I got off the phone. I called as many people as I could and went on and on and on.

Although my inner voice was telling me that God is using me for something bigger than myself, I tried to shut her up. It didn't work. She began to pray and relax and even laughed about it. I must say that having faith in the Lord and having my armor (the gospel) at my reach has made my life so much different than it was a year ago. This job is stressful, unpredictable and thankless but as long as I remember who my real boss is, my inner self is a lot more forgiving to my outer self when she goes off on one of her tantrums.

Grateful

Hello everyone, I'm back at the J O B! I'm blessed and I'm going to have a great outlook for the coming year (well, I'm going to give it my best shot) Praise GOD, five more years and I will be a civilian like most of you! The job won't dictate my personal life "yippee!" I will finally get 8 hours of sleep and walk the malls and eat out and go to amusement parks and just be normal.... wait a minute, what's normal? (smile)

I was so looking forward to my winter vacation and somehow hurt my sciatic nerve. WOW, I spent 10 days on my sofa with 3 different medications. That was not fun and one thing I learned from that experience is that it's no fun being single and sick. The next time, God forbid there is one, I'm going to hire me a male nurse (lol)

As always, please pray for me and my brothers and sisters in blue across the country and especially during the coming weeks as we prepare for the big day, the swearing in of our New President in the Nation's Capitol!

Love and Peace

Changing my plans for God's....

Anyone who knows me knows that I'd rather be writing than doing anything else.... as far as my profession is concerned. However, the Lord has plans for me that I know nothing about.

My prayer - God, shake the foundations of self-absorbed plans. Reveal to me the purpose you have for me, my time, my money, my work, my family, my day!

Expect the unexpected...

I'm getting ready to serve a search warrant in about an hours. It always gets my heart racing. I'll never forget the movie, the title presently escapes me; but it starred Christopher Reeves. He was a law enforcement officer executing a search warrant and when his partner cleared the room, he failed to check a huge stack of laundry in the corner. When Christopher came in behind him, the bad guy jumped up and shot him. Although Christopher was injured, he pretended to be paralyzed.... Anyway, remember how later in real life he had a freak accident and fell off his horse?

I say all that to say that life is strange and unexpected. I hate search warrants and traffic stops. Those are the top two assignments when a police officer is really at risk. Aside from the really rare instances when a crazy person has a grudge and decides on killing the first cop he sees.

But this is the life I signed up for 18 years ago and so far GOD has kept me in his protective arms. And today, I trust that he will continue to. Have a great day and always be mindful of your surroundings!

This too shall pass, I hope

The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

This is the time of year when crime increases. Please be careful and pray for the innocent victims.

Discipline your children

Proverbs 23:13 & 14
Do not withold discipline from a child;
if you punish him with the rod, he will not die.
Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death.

Today I celebrate 18 years in my career

A lot of my brothers & sisters have lost their lives in the line of duty and somehow God has spared mine for reasons unknown to me.....

Psalm 23
A psalm of David.
1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil,
for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Good news, I think....

District of Columbia City Council has finally approved our "20" year retirement plan. That's good news for me, I think. In two years I can leave this career and do something I love! What, I don't know.

Oh, I forgot about my mortgage payments and the fact that I owe more than my home is worth. Also the fact that I haven't really planned for retirement because I was busy trying to "live" and my 401-K is laughing hysterically. And lastly, my savings account is just enough to cover me for a rainy day..... and according to statistics, it's scheduled to rain in April if not sooner (smile)

Well my dad says that once you hit the 2o year mark, you have a different attitude and it's all a peice of cake after that. So I guess knowing that I can leave in two years as oppose to seven should be enough to inspire me to save more and start dreaming about who I want to be when I grow up!

Thank you Heavenly Father

I'm grateful for this morning. I'm not going to lie, there are most days when I wish I didn't work here and I know in my heart that this is not my "true calling" but my heart truly goes out to those who've lost their jobs over the past ten months. CNN has reported over one million Americans who are out of work due to the "economic loss by the current administration".

It's Veteran's Day and most Americans are off today where as I'm in a position to make overtime. This is considered Holiday pay for me and I thank God for that but in all honesty, I'd rather thank a Veteran in person for fighting for our Country and my freedom as oppose to being here reviewing "crime reports'.

Are the Judges in our justice system reading the bible?

Ecclesiastes 8:11

When the "sentence" for a crime is not
"quickly" carried out, the hearts of
the people are filled with schemes
to do wrong!

I can't tell you how many times we've arrested
someone for a felony and by that evening or
the following morning, they're back on the street...

I know the punishment won't be as swift as we'd
like, but the repeat offenders are just that because
of the lack of punishment being handed down by
our justice system. Yes the jails are full but is that
a justifiable excuse?

Is it wrong to give the maximum penalty for the
first time offender?

The oath I took almost 18 years ago

As a law enforcement officer, we are not to look at the Presidential Inauguration ceremony. Our responsibility is to watch the crowd with our backs to the parade. We are to keep watch for any possible threats, danger or acts of violence that may pose a threat to the President. On this historic day as an African American, how do I not take my eye off of the assigned task and not look at the 44th President and the first African American of our Nation's Capitol?

It will be difficult and emotional for me. After all, it's only been (40) years in the making!

No words, just feelings

each time i think about my job/career i still wonder what lead me hear. i keep trying to convince myself that this is where god wants me. however, the crime, the violence, the bloodshed and the dead bodies are just too much for me. why are they killing one another over senseless acts? why are innocent people being caught in the middle? why are our youth dying one after the other? why is the legal system giving away 2nd and 3rd chances? why am i afraid of our young black males? why does it all make me sad? why do i even care?

again, no words just feelings....
in Jesus name, AMEN!

At a lost for words...

No crime statistics for the week

I'm in training all week. Oftentimes I look forward to times like this; no crime meetings, no conference calls, no complaints to handle, no police sirens, no sounds of gunshots, no bloody scenes, no trying to get to the truth and no tears of compassion. However, there will be tons of e-mails to review upon my return ;-(

Have a safe week and may God bless the Nation's Capitol!

Who is responsible?

There are currently about seventy million Americans under the age of 18, or a quarter of the total US population. Juvenile crime statistics report that 2.3 million juveniles were arrested in 2002. This accounts for 17 percent of all arrests and 15 to 25 percent of all violent crimes. According to juvenile crime statistics, murder accounted for five percent of violent crimes committed by juveniles, 12 percent for rape, 14 percent for robbery, and 12 percent for aggravated assault. According to juvenile crime statistics, one million juvenile crime cases are processed through the juvenile court system each year and 200,000 are processed through the adult legal system.

Do you hate your job?

I use to way before this "economic crisis", but I prayed about it last year and now God has given me a new "perspective".

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, for the month of September 159,000 people lost their jobs. That brings the total of unemployed Americans to a whopping 760,000 for the year of 2008. So if you still "hate" your job, step aside and let someone else have it.

I don't know about you, but I'm going to get back to work...

Local hero...

A young woman was stabbed earlier this week in Southeast, Washington. According to the media, she had only lived in the home for about three weeks. I remember hearing the news the next afternoon from my boss and my cheerful attitude and infectious smile turned to disbelief. He said she was stabbed about 17 times. I could not close my mouth in "awe". As I type this, I'm wondering how something like this can still shock me. Just hours before her violent attack, I was monitoring the radio when a series of robberies took place. Of the three that occurred on my watch, one of the victims was immediately transported to the hospital with little chance for survival.

Lord, I know you have a plan for me otherwise I wouldn't be coming up on my 18 year in November, but how does your plan fit into this violent, senseless and increasingly cold blooded society that I'm in the middle of? The weird thing about my job is the fact that for every crime committed, there is at least one tourist in the heart of downtown DC w/a smile and camera posing in front of one of our many historical landmarks.

People really do love this city. And to top it off, the stabbing victim is reported to have said, "she's not leaving DC, she loves it here." She's my hero because I haven't even come close to anything similar to her ordeal and I can't leave fast enough when my shift is over.

PS. my prayers are with you and your family as you recover and "try" to move forward with your life. You are in deed my hero! Peace and blessings.

You've got mail....

I have to admit e-mails are my life line, especially considering the fact that I don't like to talk on the telephone. Don't know where I get that from, that's another story; I guess...

I was in training last week and arrived to work this afternoon to (190) e-mails. Come on, am I really that "important" or is crime really that "serious"? Probably both considering my line of work. I swear sometimes you can't tell me I'm not a freelance writer and just pretending to be a detective sergeant for the Nations' Capitol.

When I think about that catch phrase, "you've got mail", it does excite me in my personal accounts. It may be a bit overboard but I have (4) e-mail accounts. I have one for my greeting cards, one for my friends & family, one for my on-line bill payments and last but not least the infamous work account. That's the one were the having to empty the in-box is not an option because failure to do so will could result in serious repercussions. Did you get the e-mail? Have you checked your e-mail? Why didn't your reply to my e-mail? And the one that I like to use; I never received your e-mail (although the department has a tracking system and that excuse hardly ever flys).

Richard Carlson, author of "Don't sweat the small stuff" may he rest in peace, said, "When you die, your in-box won't be empty." Your in-box and in-basket is supposed to have "stuff" in it. He goes on to say that in reality, almost everything can wait. Very little in our lives truly falls into the "emergency" category. I just wish someone would tell the police department. But then again, in my line of work nothing can wait.

Haiku #4

he said he loved me
with every strike of his hand
he really loved me.

in my teen years my boyfriend "beat" me because
he watched his dad "beat" his mother.....

break the cycle of domestic violence
1.800.258.8840

Job security...

I'm a compassionate person, that's how God made me. So it saddens me to hear on CCN that at least 84-85,000 people lost their jobs in August. I heard it before, but it really went over my head until last night. While waiting anxiously for the debate, I was giving the TV my undivided attention. My heart goes out to the individuals and their families.... I immediately thought, I've really got to cut back. In my head I started thinking (pb&j, tuna sandwiches, cereal (no problem, I'm the queen of cereal) and other inexpensive meals I would start preparing to save $$$$.

Then that little voice in my head reminded me of what I do for a living. (Sometimes I swear I'm a writer and just play a police officer on TV). Anyway, the voice was saying as long as there are Sexual Predators, Burglaries, Carjacking, Shootings, Violent Assaults, Homicides, Traffic fatalities, Bank Robberies and other senseless crimes against our society, getting laid off is the least of my worries. If anything, my cash flow will increase because the average citizen is in a financial crisis and sooner or later, they may resort to drastic measures. Which will lead to overtime for Law Enforcement, which leads to indefinite job security for me and I don't know if that's a good thing or not...

My weapon of choice

Yesterday I had to go to the firing range to re-qualify with my Glock 19. Wow, even writing this takes me back a bit. I actually own one of those.... at least until I retire. It's been attached to my right hip for almost 18 years and it still amazes me what power comes with it. To actually take a life of another is something I can't even fathom.

As I began to take my stance, I have on my ear and eye protection and I'm in place 25 feet away from what is supposed to be my suspect, ready to aim and fire. There are men and women to the left and right of me and I often wonder what are they thinking as they stand there. Believe it or not, I was thinking about my hair appointment later that day, hoping to catch a matinee at 4:30 and whether or not I was going to eat the leftovers or treat myself to some real food.

Then the lights go out, the instruction begins and without hesitation, I reach for my Glock. I use my left hand to support my grip and I close my left eye and line up my front sights. I look ahead 25 feet and try to hit the center mass of the target. As the round discharges from the barrel and the muzzle flashes with a quick yellow and gold side effect it becomes all to clear to me that one day that paper target just might become a real person and I will have to make a split second decision (to shoot or not to shoot).

Call me niave, but I say all that to say that my weapon of choice is my smile. I think if we smile more and look people in the eye when we do it, it throws them off and oftentimes can cause an epidemic. Try it today, look at a complete stranger and smile your best smile!

Haiku #3

A split decision
If only she had said "yes"
Maximum time, LIFE!

No means no!
DC Rape crisis center 202.333.RAPE (7273)

A soul saved.... or not

Yesterday about 11:50 am or so and I was so focused on my project. I was so full of energy that morning and then the Lt. burst my bubble with (did you see the e-mail?) No I didn't and I didn't want to see it... every other one is about a meeting, deadline or something similar. So he took the liberty of telling me about the 3pm meeting on "my Friday". What could I say, he's the boss and yes, he's BACK! So I'm back to being the detective sergeant "yipee" only 6 more years (lol).

I'm sorry back to my original post. An officer came in and I had on my serious face and I'm not in the mood could you pls ask someone else face. He smiled, I couldn't resist; he had the most gorgeous teeth... he asked for today's lottery number and a prayer. I was so stunned. I gave him my old badge # and reached for my bible and read a devotional relating to work. He was so truly pleased and moments later, he came back with a juvenile male. This young child was 17 and did not believe in GOD. The officer told me that he was wanted and his mother made him turned himself in. Additionally, he wanted me to speak "something spiritual" to him. Me, wow... I took a deep breath and the words had to have come from the holy spirit because believe it or not, I really am shy. I gave my testimony as briefly as I could and (2 make a long story short) he said that when he was about 7 he started asking God for stuff and he never got it. He didn't want to go into detail, so I didn't pry. He said he gave up when he was about 12 or 13. After sharing my past and my pain (the short version) he actually said, "you look happy." How very observant of him. Anyway, by the end of the conversation, he stood up and hugged me and he apologized that we had to meet under these circumstances.... when he did that, I knew there was hope (at least something inside of me felt it.) I will be checking on him in the near future but was that incredible or what?

Haiku #2

Work was all I knew
Now my passion takes over
I'm calling in sick!

Haiku #1

Being a cop sucks
Aside from the donuts it's
not like on TV

Robberies and Burglaries....

I'm going over the 30 day crime for robberies and burglaries. I'd much rather be walking Max and watching a Law and Order marathon but such as life. Anyway, as I read these crime statistics I'm thinking how sad that there doesn't seem to be a means to an end. Can anyone stop the "freaking violence?" The phrase sure as hell sounds good in a song and even looks good on a T-shirt but realistically, what is the solution and who's responsible?

The POLICE need your help. We are constantly being accused of not doing enough and honestly, what more can we do? Yes, you have a right to walk around with your IPOD on listening to your favorite song, walk down the street with your purse on your shoulder, drive up to an ATM machine at night, leave your front door unlocked, leave your bay window exposed with all your valuables on display and you even have a right to walk around in the privacy of your own home in your birthday suit. The only thing is that in today's society, I wouldn't advise it. A predator doesn't sleep; he is always on the prowl looking for a vulnerable victim and eagerly awaiting the opportunity to make his move.

You and I live in America, where people are literally dying to get here and once they arrive, how do we welcome them? We provide crime brochures on how to prevent yourself from being the next crime victim. On the other hand, we can also provide you with a tour map of the Nation's Capitol and all the unique landmarks that makes this city one of the hottest tourist spots in the country.

A moment of silence...

Wait a minute, this is too weird. I'm at work on a Tuesday morning and it is quiet and calm. Not to mention there's no one in the office. No detectives, no supervisors, no request, no demands, no telephones ringing and more importantly no meetings (yippee) There was a conference call earlier but that was a piece of cake.

I do have tons of work to do but the view from my window has me wishing I was home in my pjs. It looks as if it's going to storm any minute and you know what that kind of rain does to your mental state... L A Z Y in a good way and justified way (lol) But since I'm at work and I'm still the boss for a little while longer, I've got to focus on my to do list because I have a dentist appointment in the morning so I won't be here. (another yippee) Wait a minute, I just realized why it's so unusually quiet, my radio is missing. Not AM/FM, the $2500.00 Police Radio, so I've gotta go find it before all that overtime money goes into replacing it along with a suspension. I want some time off and lord knows I need it, but not via disciplinary action. Have a great day til next time! And Lord you know my prayer, keep my brothers and sisters safe!

A prayer for my son; and yours....

Every night I pray to GOD that there are no homicides for at least the next 24 hours (because I know that saying forever would be just too much to ask for). And as confident as I am that GOD answers prayers, he is not the one "pulling the trigger". Our brothers are killing one another and I feel compelled to prayer for my son and yours daily because statistics on the innocent bystanders are not too far behind from the actual targeted victims. Murder was only a word I that heard on TV when I was a young girl addicted to "Columbo", the best Detective ever! My fascination with Peter Falk and Charlie's Angel's is the main reason I'm sitting here today. I use to be a secretary for the Department of Navy in my safe little cubicle with my liberal leave options and weekends off.

Now I sit in a space where crime reports could cover the walls, the floor and beyond. Each day that I look in the mirror that I have on my desk and I ask myself, "girl, how did you end up here?" She looks back and says, "it's what you were born to do"; writing is just your outlet to balance the stress and depression of it all. I actually had dreams of being a journalist and then I got pregnant. I decided that school would have to wait because the baby needed pampers, milk, clothes, daycare, etc.... you know the drill. Anyway, my life got sidetracked and here I sit blogging about my career; the one that pays the mortgage. At least I've made peace with the fact that although I may not be able to change the department's moral, I can still help one person at a time, one day at a time. PS I haven't given up on my dream. Someday I will pubish "something!" lol

It's Friday (again)...

Good morning everyone. Those of you who are up anyway. It's 0620 hours, on Wednesday and for me it's Friday. I'm off for the next three days and I can hardly contain myself. (My dad's coming to town) so bring it on, I'm ready for this day and all it's drama! I love Fridays because no matter what happens on days like this, I don't have to be the "police" tomorrow. I can be a regular civilian and pretend to have a normal life... if there is a such thing.

Although I still watch my back, people walking past me, look over my shoulders when I get gas, use the ATM and while in the grocery store. I also make sure that my doors are locked when I approached the intersections and there are young men trying to sell something or clean my windshields. It's sad to say that I use to be offended when the (white race) would be fearful of our young brothers in certain situations (metro, elevators, sidewalks, etc..) now I feel the same way at times. I guess it's my past 18 years in law enforcement and the number of young black males committing senseless crimes and carrying handguns. Their regard for your life has little meaning to them. Not to mention the fact that the justice system oftentimes is not as sensitive to the impact that these crimes have on society's sense of safety and the trust that we have placed in "them" to protect you and "me".

It's fun being the boss (sometimes)

My boss is out for a couple of weeks and I'm the big boss (of the office anyway). I miss being the little boss because I don't have to attend as many meetings. I am really behind on my work and you can stay all day and night if you'd like. As long as you get the job done! (Law enforcement is not for the weak at heart). I think if I didn't have to go home to Max, I'd probably work 16-18 hours per day. For now, you can either submit a slip for overtime or compensatory time and I'm single and healthy, so why not? One thing for sure, when my prince charming comes along, knight in shinning armor or "soul mate", it will be 8 straight hours and then I'm outta here! It's Sunday and I love Sundays. All the important people are off and I get to watch my spiritual speakers on Direct TV while I review the weekend crime reports. I usually visit my two senior friends but I've been so busy lately, that we've been communicating by phone. One I met as a result of a drug complaint about 12 years ago and the other was a victim of a violent assault about 5 years ago. I consider them both my grandmothers and they are always checking up on me. Imagine that ;-)

My other job

It's Saturday and I worked overtime today. Believe it or not I love it. Not just the extra money, but I'm actually forced to sit still for at least 6 hours and be with my thoughts and my bible.

I didn't get a chance to write yesterday. It's been a really long time since I've actually worked on a real Friday. Usaully, Thursdays are Fridays for me. (That's police talk) Anyway, it started with the usual 24 hour crime reports, conference calls and a meeting at headquarters. I was as prepared as I could be considering I found out about the meeting on Wednesday and I was off on Thursday. As frustrated as I am about my job at times, I know that in my heart, I will always care. I care about my coworkers, I care about being fair and most importantly, I care about the victims.

A day off...

It's weird, I took this day off to take Max to the vet. While I'm waiting to pick him up I thought I would clean the house. But after vacuuming, which is pretty exhausting when you're chasing dog hair from room to room, I found myself checking my departmental e-mail. It use to really stress me out and to some degree piss me off that you could come back from a day off and have about 70 of them. Of that amount about 5 are important. But that's just my opinion.

So my solution was to ease the stress and check them from home, that way when I got in there would only be about 25 new ones ;-) If I was lucky. I tell you, once you become involved in law enforcement, it becomes embedded in your brain. Crime, meetings, deadlines and memos constantly invade my cells trying to take me away from what I truly love. It's challenging but nothing I can't put up with for another 6 years or so, right GOD?

It's Wednesday and I'm tired...

Today is going to be a long one. I know that "this too shall pass", but right now I really need a boost. I've already had my "on the way to work" cup of Dunkin Donut's coffee. I don't know about you, but coffee doesn't keep me energized or give me a pick me up. I guess like anything else, after a while you become immune to it.

I'm scheduled for a very long crime briefing today and I know there will be tons of questions, comments and dialogue over stuff that at the end of the day, won't change the fact that tomorrow we have to do it all over again. Is is me or does it seem simpler on Law and Order? Wish me luck! But then again, who needs luck when God is in your corner? Change that, to BRING IT ON, I'M READY!

This is a journal about my life as a police officer. Although this was not the career I dreamt of, it's too late to turn back now. So with less than seven years to retire, I've convinced myself that I can still make a difference. Please pray for me and my fellow sisters and brothers in BLUE.