he said he loved me
with every strike of his hand
he really loved me.
in my teen years my boyfriend "beat" me because
he watched his dad "beat" his mother.....
break the cycle of domestic violence
1.800.258.8840
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Job security...
I'm a compassionate person, that's how God made me. So it saddens me to hear on CCN that at least 84-85,000 people lost their jobs in August. I heard it before, but it really went over my head until last night. While waiting anxiously for the debate, I was giving the TV my undivided attention. My heart goes out to the individuals and their families.... I immediately thought, I've really got to cut back. In my head I started thinking (pb&j, tuna sandwiches, cereal (no problem, I'm the queen of cereal) and other inexpensive meals I would start preparing to save $$$$.
Then that little voice in my head reminded me of what I do for a living. (Sometimes I swear I'm a writer and just play a police officer on TV). Anyway, the voice was saying as long as there are Sexual Predators, Burglaries, Carjacking, Shootings, Violent Assaults, Homicides, Traffic fatalities, Bank Robberies and other senseless crimes against our society, getting laid off is the least of my worries. If anything, my cash flow will increase because the average citizen is in a financial crisis and sooner or later, they may resort to drastic measures. Which will lead to overtime for Law Enforcement, which leads to indefinite job security for me and I don't know if that's a good thing or not...
Then that little voice in my head reminded me of what I do for a living. (Sometimes I swear I'm a writer and just play a police officer on TV). Anyway, the voice was saying as long as there are Sexual Predators, Burglaries, Carjacking, Shootings, Violent Assaults, Homicides, Traffic fatalities, Bank Robberies and other senseless crimes against our society, getting laid off is the least of my worries. If anything, my cash flow will increase because the average citizen is in a financial crisis and sooner or later, they may resort to drastic measures. Which will lead to overtime for Law Enforcement, which leads to indefinite job security for me and I don't know if that's a good thing or not...
Thursday, September 25, 2008
My weapon of choice
Yesterday I had to go to the firing range to re-qualify with my Glock 19. Wow, even writing this takes me back a bit. I actually own one of those.... at least until I retire. It's been attached to my right hip for almost 18 years and it still amazes me what power comes with it. To actually take a life of another is something I can't even fathom.
As I began to take my stance, I have on my ear and eye protection and I'm in place 25 feet away from what is supposed to be my suspect, ready to aim and fire. There are men and women to the left and right of me and I often wonder what are they thinking as they stand there. Believe it or not, I was thinking about my hair appointment later that day, hoping to catch a matinee at 4:30 and whether or not I was going to eat the leftovers or treat myself to some real food.
Then the lights go out, the instruction begins and without hesitation, I reach for my Glock. I use my left hand to support my grip and I close my left eye and line up my front sights. I look ahead 25 feet and try to hit the center mass of the target. As the round discharges from the barrel and the muzzle flashes with a quick yellow and gold side effect it becomes all to clear to me that one day that paper target just might become a real person and I will have to make a split second decision (to shoot or not to shoot).
Call me niave, but I say all that to say that my weapon of choice is my smile. I think if we smile more and look people in the eye when we do it, it throws them off and oftentimes can cause an epidemic. Try it today, look at a complete stranger and smile your best smile!
As I began to take my stance, I have on my ear and eye protection and I'm in place 25 feet away from what is supposed to be my suspect, ready to aim and fire. There are men and women to the left and right of me and I often wonder what are they thinking as they stand there. Believe it or not, I was thinking about my hair appointment later that day, hoping to catch a matinee at 4:30 and whether or not I was going to eat the leftovers or treat myself to some real food.
Then the lights go out, the instruction begins and without hesitation, I reach for my Glock. I use my left hand to support my grip and I close my left eye and line up my front sights. I look ahead 25 feet and try to hit the center mass of the target. As the round discharges from the barrel and the muzzle flashes with a quick yellow and gold side effect it becomes all to clear to me that one day that paper target just might become a real person and I will have to make a split second decision (to shoot or not to shoot).
Call me niave, but I say all that to say that my weapon of choice is my smile. I think if we smile more and look people in the eye when we do it, it throws them off and oftentimes can cause an epidemic. Try it today, look at a complete stranger and smile your best smile!
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Haiku #3
A split decision
If only she had said "yes"
Maximum time, LIFE!
No means no!
DC Rape crisis center 202.333.RAPE (7273)
If only she had said "yes"
Maximum time, LIFE!
No means no!
DC Rape crisis center 202.333.RAPE (7273)
Friday, September 19, 2008
A soul saved.... or not
Yesterday about 11:50 am or so and I was so focused on my project. I was so full of energy that morning and then the Lt. burst my bubble with (did you see the e-mail?) No I didn't and I didn't want to see it... every other one is about a meeting, deadline or something similar. So he took the liberty of telling me about the 3pm meeting on "my Friday". What could I say, he's the boss and yes, he's BACK! So I'm back to being the detective sergeant "yipee" only 6 more years (lol).
I'm sorry back to my original post. An officer came in and I had on my serious face and I'm not in the mood could you pls ask someone else face. He smiled, I couldn't resist; he had the most gorgeous teeth... he asked for today's lottery number and a prayer. I was so stunned. I gave him my old badge # and reached for my bible and read a devotional relating to work. He was so truly pleased and moments later, he came back with a juvenile male. This young child was 17 and did not believe in GOD. The officer told me that he was wanted and his mother made him turned himself in. Additionally, he wanted me to speak "something spiritual" to him. Me, wow... I took a deep breath and the words had to have come from the holy spirit because believe it or not, I really am shy. I gave my testimony as briefly as I could and (2 make a long story short) he said that when he was about 7 he started asking God for stuff and he never got it. He didn't want to go into detail, so I didn't pry. He said he gave up when he was about 12 or 13. After sharing my past and my pain (the short version) he actually said, "you look happy." How very observant of him. Anyway, by the end of the conversation, he stood up and hugged me and he apologized that we had to meet under these circumstances.... when he did that, I knew there was hope (at least something inside of me felt it.) I will be checking on him in the near future but was that incredible or what?
I'm sorry back to my original post. An officer came in and I had on my serious face and I'm not in the mood could you pls ask someone else face. He smiled, I couldn't resist; he had the most gorgeous teeth... he asked for today's lottery number and a prayer. I was so stunned. I gave him my old badge # and reached for my bible and read a devotional relating to work. He was so truly pleased and moments later, he came back with a juvenile male. This young child was 17 and did not believe in GOD. The officer told me that he was wanted and his mother made him turned himself in. Additionally, he wanted me to speak "something spiritual" to him. Me, wow... I took a deep breath and the words had to have come from the holy spirit because believe it or not, I really am shy. I gave my testimony as briefly as I could and (2 make a long story short) he said that when he was about 7 he started asking God for stuff and he never got it. He didn't want to go into detail, so I didn't pry. He said he gave up when he was about 12 or 13. After sharing my past and my pain (the short version) he actually said, "you look happy." How very observant of him. Anyway, by the end of the conversation, he stood up and hugged me and he apologized that we had to meet under these circumstances.... when he did that, I knew there was hope (at least something inside of me felt it.) I will be checking on him in the near future but was that incredible or what?
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Robberies and Burglaries....
I'm going over the 30 day crime for robberies and burglaries. I'd much rather be walking Max and watching a Law and Order marathon but such as life. Anyway, as I read these crime statistics I'm thinking how sad that there doesn't seem to be a means to an end. Can anyone stop the "freaking violence?" The phrase sure as hell sounds good in a song and even looks good on a T-shirt but realistically, what is the solution and who's responsible?
The POLICE need your help. We are constantly being accused of not doing enough and honestly, what more can we do? Yes, you have a right to walk around with your IPOD on listening to your favorite song, walk down the street with your purse on your shoulder, drive up to an ATM machine at night, leave your front door unlocked, leave your bay window exposed with all your valuables on display and you even have a right to walk around in the privacy of your own home in your birthday suit. The only thing is that in today's society, I wouldn't advise it. A predator doesn't sleep; he is always on the prowl looking for a vulnerable victim and eagerly awaiting the opportunity to make his move.
You and I live in America, where people are literally dying to get here and once they arrive, how do we welcome them? We provide crime brochures on how to prevent yourself from being the next crime victim. On the other hand, we can also provide you with a tour map of the Nation's Capitol and all the unique landmarks that makes this city one of the hottest tourist spots in the country.
The POLICE need your help. We are constantly being accused of not doing enough and honestly, what more can we do? Yes, you have a right to walk around with your IPOD on listening to your favorite song, walk down the street with your purse on your shoulder, drive up to an ATM machine at night, leave your front door unlocked, leave your bay window exposed with all your valuables on display and you even have a right to walk around in the privacy of your own home in your birthday suit. The only thing is that in today's society, I wouldn't advise it. A predator doesn't sleep; he is always on the prowl looking for a vulnerable victim and eagerly awaiting the opportunity to make his move.
You and I live in America, where people are literally dying to get here and once they arrive, how do we welcome them? We provide crime brochures on how to prevent yourself from being the next crime victim. On the other hand, we can also provide you with a tour map of the Nation's Capitol and all the unique landmarks that makes this city one of the hottest tourist spots in the country.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
A moment of silence...
Wait a minute, this is too weird. I'm at work on a Tuesday morning and it is quiet and calm. Not to mention there's no one in the office. No detectives, no supervisors, no request, no demands, no telephones ringing and more importantly no meetings (yippee) There was a conference call earlier but that was a piece of cake.
I do have tons of work to do but the view from my window has me wishing I was home in my pjs. It looks as if it's going to storm any minute and you know what that kind of rain does to your mental state... L A Z Y in a good way and justified way (lol) But since I'm at work and I'm still the boss for a little while longer, I've got to focus on my to do list because I have a dentist appointment in the morning so I won't be here. (another yippee) Wait a minute, I just realized why it's so unusually quiet, my radio is missing. Not AM/FM, the $2500.00 Police Radio, so I've gotta go find it before all that overtime money goes into replacing it along with a suspension. I want some time off and lord knows I need it, but not via disciplinary action. Have a great day til next time! And Lord you know my prayer, keep my brothers and sisters safe!
I do have tons of work to do but the view from my window has me wishing I was home in my pjs. It looks as if it's going to storm any minute and you know what that kind of rain does to your mental state... L A Z Y in a good way and justified way (lol) But since I'm at work and I'm still the boss for a little while longer, I've got to focus on my to do list because I have a dentist appointment in the morning so I won't be here. (another yippee) Wait a minute, I just realized why it's so unusually quiet, my radio is missing. Not AM/FM, the $2500.00 Police Radio, so I've gotta go find it before all that overtime money goes into replacing it along with a suspension. I want some time off and lord knows I need it, but not via disciplinary action. Have a great day til next time! And Lord you know my prayer, keep my brothers and sisters safe!
Sunday, September 7, 2008
A prayer for my son; and yours....
Every night I pray to GOD that there are no homicides for at least the next 24 hours (because I know that saying forever would be just too much to ask for). And as confident as I am that GOD answers prayers, he is not the one "pulling the trigger". Our brothers are killing one another and I feel compelled to prayer for my son and yours daily because statistics on the innocent bystanders are not too far behind from the actual targeted victims. Murder was only a word I that heard on TV when I was a young girl addicted to "Columbo", the best Detective ever! My fascination with Peter Falk and Charlie's Angel's is the main reason I'm sitting here today. I use to be a secretary for the Department of Navy in my safe little cubicle with my liberal leave options and weekends off.
Now I sit in a space where crime reports could cover the walls, the floor and beyond. Each day that I look in the mirror that I have on my desk and I ask myself, "girl, how did you end up here?" She looks back and says, "it's what you were born to do"; writing is just your outlet to balance the stress and depression of it all. I actually had dreams of being a journalist and then I got pregnant. I decided that school would have to wait because the baby needed pampers, milk, clothes, daycare, etc.... you know the drill. Anyway, my life got sidetracked and here I sit blogging about my career; the one that pays the mortgage. At least I've made peace with the fact that although I may not be able to change the department's moral, I can still help one person at a time, one day at a time. PS I haven't given up on my dream. Someday I will pubish "something!" lol
Now I sit in a space where crime reports could cover the walls, the floor and beyond. Each day that I look in the mirror that I have on my desk and I ask myself, "girl, how did you end up here?" She looks back and says, "it's what you were born to do"; writing is just your outlet to balance the stress and depression of it all. I actually had dreams of being a journalist and then I got pregnant. I decided that school would have to wait because the baby needed pampers, milk, clothes, daycare, etc.... you know the drill. Anyway, my life got sidetracked and here I sit blogging about my career; the one that pays the mortgage. At least I've made peace with the fact that although I may not be able to change the department's moral, I can still help one person at a time, one day at a time. PS I haven't given up on my dream. Someday I will pubish "something!" lol
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